I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
