I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
