You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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