my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
