Cold hands, warm shart.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
