Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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