I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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