whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
