but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
