I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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