Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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