The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
