fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
