I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I wish I could teleport
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
