Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
