But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
