I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
