I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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