did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
