we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
