that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I woke up under a house in Key West
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize