found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
