i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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