We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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