Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
