you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize