hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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