the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
