is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize