your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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