he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize