pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
this is an emotional support booty call
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize