Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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