New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
