Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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