forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
