I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
