So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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