dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
