i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize