She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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