just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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