You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
