You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
