What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I have post one night stand depression
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
