We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize