Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She's JV to your varsity
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
