Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
