New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
