32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
only you would photoshop your dick
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
