I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
