That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
