READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
