Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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