Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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