Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
