I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
