I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
