I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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