return my video game
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Randomize
