I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
