She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
