please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Pooping to opera.
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