Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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