i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
