someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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