is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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