Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
