She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
