Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Sober January is a disaster.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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