That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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