I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
