how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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