Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
