one word: firstdatebathroomanal
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm at about main and main street
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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