You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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