I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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